(doing chinese ws and halfway through it)

i read cheryl's post. and before that was rachel's and i actually typed a whole chunk of my dreams out but decided to delete them all. so now here's my post which started and was in my drafts since yesterday afternoon.

i started out, not a good dancer(i'm still working hard now). i had been audiences for quite alot of dances. but i hadn't thought so much. i mean, anyway those who were chosen were better than me and all with positive attitudes right. then this year, starting off with cny dance, it was rather pressurizing.

firstly, i can't do the dongzuos well. i'm actually trying to give more biaoqing since i'm not very good at my dongzuos. i hope my biaoqing can make people happy and not laugh cos practically every dance i've been in except for feitian has got audiences laughing and me posting about boxing them. i think, although i don't do my stuff real nicely, but at least i've improved. a teeny weeny bit. today. if the audiences can see the efforts made, of course it's worth it. but if they can't, too bad. i can't go up to them and tell them to try it it's not that easy and u know we only had how many lessons to do it or what like they care cos they are only supposed to watch and get entertained.

hmm. friday was really noisy and very bad for the zuzhangs. i don't know why we so noisy la but the dance, we didn't do very well better. i know all the audiences that day were like _________ i need not say. i know, even if it's just 1 person's efforts. it will make the dance look better too.
i don't know how to conclude this whole thing but i just want to say that when i know i didn't do well, can't catch up with the paizi, can't do wulongjiaocu with straight and pointed legs, can't do the yao dongzuo, i feel disappointed in myself too. that's all i think. i feel better, alot better today. just cos i wasn't as bad as friday. u get it?

oh yea. below is all the bad stuff. u can skip it if u feel all high and don't wanna get affected.
first is i dreamt that i die. actually this is quite a funny dream la so maybe not that sad. but it's still quite sad.
second is.




BAD BAD BAD BAD 牛 YEAR.

u know. like the death annivesary thing on the first day of cny isn't bad enough. i'm not going to even have a reunion dinner.
my uncle is overseas and my aunt has caught chicken pox after her son. no reunion dinner. then next day will be the praying and all that. and 27th, i don't even want to continue thinking. maybe stranded between my maternal and paternal sides and not knowing what to do where to go. i haven't got any new year food stuff. just, a container of pineapple tarts. maybe nobody's going to visit my house btw.

while u all are gambling away i'll just rot at home alone watching my tv movies and munch my pineapple tarts alone. and possibly do homework out of boredom. gosh. what a sad life.

and i'm just going to abondon the sleep at 10oclock everyday routine which had happened since 2009 until today. it's impossible in future, maybe i'll just go to bed at 11 latest.

oh last thing, maybe the best thing that can happen for me this new year is to give a good cny pfm. I'M SO NOT PISSED BY THE WAY THINGS TURNED OUT SO NOT PISSED.

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